Tuesday, April 29, 2008

2 weeks - thank you Eric for correcting me

Kevin & Eric will return to St. Jude Tuesday May 13th. So we have just a little under 2 weeks of our break left. I must admit to being completely scared of this next step.

When we go back Kevin will have MRI's to see if the cancer has metasized again, or if he gotten a tumor anywhere else. Please pray that there is no more tumors ever for Kevin.

Earlier this evening as I was listening to Kevin and Scotty get ready for bed, I started to get this sinking feeling, as much as I don't want it to be true I know there is a risk that Kevin may not make it through this. I can't help but worry what if this treatment doesn't work? And I am scared of how sick the chemo is going to make Kevin and I can't help but feeling this overwhemling sadness about how this is changing his body and causing other issues we will have to deal with once we are through this treatment. I am edggy about the upcoming MRI's telling me something I don't want to hear.

While researching medulloblastoma I found a little boy Mo who was dx in 2003 with medulloblastoma. The beginning of his story sounds so much like Kevin's, I am praying that for our sake it turns out different. I said a little pray for his parents. For a moment this evening I think I felt the pain they must feel. I am reminded that I am very grateful for today; that me and all three of my boys got to enjoy a 1/2 day off from school together with friends at Jungle Java.

Hopefully this is just a moment I am having. Kevin has been a little bit sleeper than normal in the evening lately & a little bit moodier but he is still going strong all day.

Take Care,

1 comment:

Kathy said...

I'm sorry I haven't written you, I've been caught up in our own little personal drama.

First, I know Mo's dad, Mo went through his second surgery and all that while we were getting treatment in Memphis.

Mo's tumor was a more aggressive variant of medulloblastoma, large cell.

Also, regarding SJMB03-- high dose chemotherapy is always scary, but SJMB03 not only has a very low mortality rate, it has a really high completion rate, higher than for a more standard course of chemotherapy with lower doses and more rounds.

I can't believe the time is going so quickly, it doesn't seem possible that you will return so soon.

I'll email you more later.