Kevin & Eric will return to St. Jude Tuesday May 13th. So we have just a little under 2 weeks of our break left. I must admit to being completely scared of this next step.
When we go back Kevin will have MRI's to see if the cancer has metasized again, or if he gotten a tumor anywhere else. Please pray that there is no more tumors ever for Kevin.
Earlier this evening as I was listening to Kevin and Scotty get ready for bed, I started to get this sinking feeling, as much as I don't want it to be true I know there is a risk that Kevin may not make it through this. I can't help but worry what if this treatment doesn't work? And I am scared of how sick the chemo is going to make Kevin and I can't help but feeling this overwhemling sadness about how this is changing his body and causing other issues we will have to deal with once we are through this treatment. I am edggy about the upcoming MRI's telling me something I don't want to hear.
While researching medulloblastoma I found a little boy Mo who was dx in 2003 with medulloblastoma. The beginning of his story sounds so much like Kevin's, I am praying that for our sake it turns out different. I said a little pray for his parents. For a moment this evening I think I felt the pain they must feel. I am reminded that I am very grateful for today; that me and all three of my boys got to enjoy a 1/2 day off from school together with friends at Jungle Java.
Hopefully this is just a moment I am having. Kevin has been a little bit sleeper than normal in the evening lately & a little bit moodier but he is still going strong all day.