Kevin is very uncomfortable. He has the port for chemo in the middle of his chest, his head is still bleeding from the shunt they put in. I don’t think the stitches were done very well. He gets mad sometimes and then starts crying saying he doesn’t want to be a ‘jerk’ to others. He has every right to be mad, angry and depressed. But as he said the other day, ‘mom, getting angry doesn’t get me anywhere.’ He is so smart for seven. This is very scary. I told Kevin today that the disease we keep referring to is cancer. Sometimes when he is in a lot of pain he yells at us that we are trying to kill him. When he is calm I do my best to reassure him I am doing everything I can to save his life.
I am working on getting him fatted up before Chemo. Lots of high calorie, high protein food. I am trying to get him to drink Ensure as much as possible. If anyone has any ideas on healthy foods/meals that are loaded with calories and protein please share!!!
We meet at least a dozen or two specialist, social workers, etc. that I guess we will be working with as we go through this whole process.
I am starting to not cry as much and focus on what needs to be done to get Kevin through this. But there are moments where I just long for the time when I thought I was so blessed to have 3 healthy children. It looks like Kevin will come home for a couple of weeks, maybe as soon as next week. Each day with him is a blessing. I guess none of us have a guarantee.